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Saturday, March 31, 2012

Beyond the Comfort Zone

Last weekend, Rookie asked me to push her beyond her comfort zone during a spanking session. I was more than happy to oblige, with the normal constraints and safety procedures in place.

Well, Rookie was quite surprised when she discovered that being pushed past her comfort zone meant I was going to use the implements she dislikes the most at a higher level of impact. At one point, she was in so much discomfort, she accused me of having deceived her the whole time and that I obviously had not been truly spanking her very hard. Then she asked what implement I was using. When she discovered it was a dreaded rubber item, she asked me why I was using that since she hated rubber so much. My response was “I’m using it because you asked me to push you past your comfort zone, so naturally that means pushing with items you don’t like. What did you think I’d use, paper mache?” Note to newbies: the person swinging the strap can be just as much of a smartass as they want to be. It seems Rookie thought I’d push her past her comfort zone by using her favourite items in “some other way.” This is why I still call her “Rookie.” :-)

I wasn’t a total asshat to the dear woman. After it was over, I went the extra mile and took her to a Happy Place with a leather shoe sole paddle, so she was well cared for and she had a good wind down, even if we did push the boundaries of her comfort zone. Of course the whole reason we were pushing those boundaries was because she was in a good enough headspace to venture out. And when it comes to pushing boundaries, these wonderful spankees really do need to be in that headspace.

For us Tops, pushing boundaries requires a great deal of focus. We have a responsibility to ensure the bottom is in a safe and secure place, even though we’re taking them beyond the walls of normalcy. This all comes back to the old axiom I’ve been using since the 1990’s: “A spanking session is supposed to hurt, but it’s important that no one is ever harmed by this activity.” That said, I stress safety first for anyone experimenting with this.