Product Review of Kitty's Exotic Paddles

Having been a spanko for 20 something years I have bought a large number of spanking implements over time. One thing I learned very early on is that there are a lot of big money fakers out there. Years ago it was pretty common to buy a “REAL WOOD!” spanking paddle that was being marketed on some website or in a mail order catalog that was obtained from an ad in the back pages of Nugget magazine (anyone remember them?). When the paddle arrived, it quickly became apparent that the paddle was nothing more than a piece of pressboard that had some kind of wood grain veneer appliqué glued to the surface. These paddles had a lifespan of maybe 40 or 50 swats during a play session. All this for $89.99 USD!

It was for this very reason that mom & pop shops sprang up on the web in the 90’s and 00’s and began to displace the big money fakers. One of the paddle vendors whose name often comes up is Kitty of Kitty’s Exotic Paddles. Kitty makes handmade paddles from a variety of exotic woods, which she sells directly over the web. Prices range from $35.00 to $120.00 USD with most paddles running about $45.00 or $50.00 USD. Kitty emphasizes that her merchandise is all hand made.

For those of you who are saying, “Yeah, right, I’ve heard that one before!” all I can say is this; I’m one of the most cynical S.O.B.’s you could ever hope to meet, which I am told is part of my charm. J That said, I ordered 3 paddles from Kitty – a Flapjack, a Lil-Monster and a Stringman – really not knowing what to expect. Kitty worked with me on the order and I found her communication and service to be excellent. When the paddles arrived, I opened the package expecting the worst and hoping for the best; I always do that. I think all the old-timers who got royally ripped off in the ‘80’s and 90’s do.

What I found inside the package left me standing slack jawed. The paddles were solid wood; there was no question of that. The woods themselves held natural grain patterns and were highly polished. Although I don’t do woodworking myself, I know people who do and I’ve watched them work. The sanding and the cut outs were done by a master craftsperson. By all appearances, these were legitimate.

While I’ve never done woodworking, I have worked on a lot of cars over the years, so my ears are tuned to find flaws through sound. Holding my left hand to my left ear I used my right hand to test the paddles on my open left palm. I was listening for hollow sounds and indications of weak spots or possible fracture points. The result of this test was nothing but a sore left hand. There were all of zero flaws with wood. No hollowing or evidence of putty filler; no fracture points, nothing. Oh, and did I mention the weighting and balance of the paddles was as near perfect as is humanly possible?

Any old-timers who might have read the product reviews I posted on my old website back in the day know that I always, and I mean ALWAYS, find something for a vendor to go over and review with their product; something to improve, some form of constructive criticism or feedback to offer. We have now come to that part of the review. Kitty left me with an empty tank here. I got nothin’ for this part of the product review. It’s not because I came up short in going over her product; it’s because the vendor went the full mile and then some. So, yeah, keep moving, people, nothing to see in this section…

Kitty’s product costs more, but is worth every penny. I even went back and bought some more paddles from her and I did so with no qualms, concerns or mental notes to myself to “check on [fill in the blank] when the package arrives.” Kitty is the real deal. That’s why vendors such as Punished Brats and Real Spankings feature her paddles when doing shoots with professional models.

For more info, please visit her site: http://kittysexoticpaddles.com/