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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Stress relief spanking – What’s in it for the spanker?

This blog post stems from a recent discussion I had with a bottom. She enjoys her stress relief spanking sessions immensely, and out of the blue recently she asked me “But what’s in it for you?”

The short answer is “The same as what’s in it for you – stress relief.” But there is a longer answer as well.

That longer answer is that I simply enjoy spanking women. For me it’s often, but not always outside the box of sexuality. I find the act of spanking a woman’s bottom to be very relaxing, very pleasant and yes, a whole lot of fun! The fact that the woman is enjoying it as much as I am makes it extremely rewarding.

I don’t think I could spank a woman who doesn’t want to be spanked. Being “out” I have had many experiences over the years with thrill seekers who wanted to try it and see what it was all about. But the thing is, I don’t really get into it as much with a thrill seeker as I do with a true spanko. There’s always the chance I’ll unleash a closet spanko in those situations, but in this age of experimentation with alternate lifestyles I know that the odds are not always favourable. Over the years I think I’ve only found I had one closet spanko over my lap in that situation, and the rest were, well…thrill seekers.

Also, with a thrill seeker there’s a lot of time and effort spent making sure she’s okay and tolerating it well; that I’m not doing any real harm and that she’s not about to freak out and call the cops. Spanking a thrill seeker is a fun distraction at times, but it’s not the same as being with a true spanko. Sure, the thrill seekers consent to it, but not the same as doing it with someone who honestly enjoys it.

During a stress relief session with a true spanko, we can try different things. Be it different implements, different spanking techniques, or just using those all too fun “discipline dice” that Cane-Iac sells to lighten the mood.

But stress relief spankings are not just about spanking someone. It’s about good conversation, lots of laughs and just relaxing and being social with a person whose company you enjoy. The fact that we share this wonderfully twisted spanking thing just strengthens the bonds between us.

When it comes to stress relief spanking, the Top and the bottom are in it together. We really are achieving the same goal when we proceed with these sessions. It’s mutual relaxation, mutual enjoyment and mutual rewards. And in the end, both parties feel less stressed. And that’s what’s “in it for me.”

7 comments:

  1. I have seen several posts on this subject across blogdom. Wonder what is making so many people ponder on it?

    Of course, there are physiological and biological changes taking place, especially in the spankee (and no doubt, the spanker as well).

    So, there is a scientific reason why it helps relieve stress!!

    sarah

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  2. That's one take on it, Sarah, and a good one. I think the reason there has been more discussion of late is that stress relief spanking, as an act, has risen in popularity in recent years. With the evolution of the kink and those who participate in it, just saying "I need a stress relief spanking" is more acceptable then it was say a decade ago.

    Case in point, one former bottom I was in a LTR with used to let things build up inside of her to the point where she'd get insomnia, then I'd wind up "wearing her out" with a set of straps to take away the insomnia so she could sleep. Today I think the spankees are less inhibited about expressing their need for a spanking to reduce stress, hence it's less common for things to build up to that level.

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  3. Ha! I still don't ask for one, but I acknowledge what it does for me! The whole dreading the medicine because it tastes horrible, altho I know it will make me feel so much better.

    sarah

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  4. A few times in a previous spanking relationship, I received spankings that were motivated exclusively by my Top's need to relieve stress. These were the first non-disciplinary spankings that I had received and I was surprised by just how happy they made me. I enjoyed them the same way that I currently enjoy arbitrary spankings but with the additional pleasure of knowing that I was providing my spanker with something that he desired.

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  5. The arbitrary/maintenance spanking has a place in my scheme of a DD lifestyle as well. But the stress relief sessions I've always found are more mutually relaxing. You hit on a good note there, Alex, because it not just about the stress of the Top or the bottom, but rather about mutual release.

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  6. I like this post a lot. I've always been curious about stress relief spankings and it was a nice read. :)

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